Knowing When To Say When contd...

 Wanting good government in their states, they first established order in their own families; wanting order in their home, they first disciplined themselves.

Confucius

Soon after our fourth baby was born we had planned to surgically insure that we would have no more children.  We had 2 girls then 2 boys-  the perfect family.  

Before we could take this step the Lord intervened and we were relieved of part of our business which made it economically unfeasible to carry out our plan.  At least one person offered to make us a loan to pay for Breadwinner's procedure.  But the hole in our bank account served to encourage us to reconsider our plans and decide if they were truly in line with the Lord's will for our family. 

I clearly remember one night when #4 was about 2 months.  He was an ornery baby.  He cried easily and wanted to nurse constantly, especially in the evening.  I thought perhaps he had colic or some other health related issue.  Turns out babies often display parts of their coming personalities early on.  Even as he cried, Breadwinner and I looked at each other and declared we could not stop with this one.  Even through his orneriness he was a great blessing.

There were other encouragements around this time that helped us form our philosophy of family.  My dear friend Deb lent me a CD of a preacher named Voddie Baucham.   I was truly convicted by his message.  God calls children a blessing.  Why would I want to limit the blessings God had for me?  It made me question all my preconceived (hah!) notions about "family planning".  If God can do anything, including allowing me to conceive while on any attempt at birth control, why do I think that I should be the one that is making that decision?  

It was also around this time that while researching forms of birth control we found that birth control pills can cause abortions.  We felt shocked, saddened, let down, and embarrassed.  Before we had decided to use the pill in the first few years of our marriage we had discussed it with our Pastor in marriage counseling and my trusted gynecologist.  As we both have degrees in biology we thought we had all our bases covered and knew what we were doing.  No one had ever even hinted that by using the pill we could have killed our own baby.  Randy Alcorn wrote a book called Does The Birth Control Pill Cause Abortion.  You can find it here in a condensed form.http://www.emmerich1.com/Does%20the%20Birth%20Control%20Pill%20Cause%20Abortions%207th%20edition.pdf


Breadwinner was all for having a passel more kids.  I, although convicted at heart, was a bit reticent.  What about all my plans and dreams and projects?  More kids would definitely cramp my style.  Didn't kids cost a lot?  Would we have the money to bankroll my plans and dreams and projects?  If we had more kids we wouldn't fit into our truck that pulled our 5th wheel travel trailer.  Each new baby meant about 4 months of all day sickness for me at the outset.  My grumblings to myself went on and on.  Then my friend Linda lent me a book called Be Fruitful and Multiply by Nancy Campbell.  I took a good hard look at myself and finally saw my self-centeredness.  I wasn't thinking about loving the Lord and considering His plan for my life, I was thinking about what would cause me the greatest pleasure and ease.  I realized that on my current trajectory I would never have been a consideration for the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11.  If I truly believed that God was in control of all the universe then I needed to live that way.  By faith.


Opening our bedroom to the Lord was very freeing.  We are open to the "rewards" God has for us.  I no longer have to consider if the time is right or whether we are "ready" to have another baby.  

Since we made this decision in faith we have seen God's hand on our lives more than ever.  He truly provides all our needs.  Faith in one area of ones life tends to radiate outward like the ripple from a pebble in a pond.  It hasn't ensured our lives are trouble free, it just reminds us we have reason to sing His praise as we tread the rocky road.

God has allowed us to be involved in His plan for His creation.  He has given us warriors to train up to follow Him.  Can there be any greater joy? (3 John 1:4)

Our quiver holds potential arrows for God's army awaiting being loosed on targets we could never reach.

How Do You Know When To Say When?

When I was in junior high my dad's mom had a stroke that paralyzed the right side of her body.  She and my legally blind and pretty deaf grandpa came to live with us to be cared for by their daughter-in-law.  The fact that we had to give up 1/3 of our living space which contained our "rumpus room" was of little concern to me.  Two things about this situation made life changing impacts on me.  


1. I convinced my friend, Ellie, that we needed to take all our science notes with our left hands on the occasion that we ever had a stroke and would not be able to use our right.  We needed to be prepared and since we had to take the most notes in science class we would get the most practice there. 


2. Even though I didn't want to get married or have children I decided it would be a necessity.  It was obvious to me that I would need to create someone to take care of me in the event that I was ever incapacitated.  Incidentally, I also convinced Ellie of this and she has duly given me credit for the existence of her two darling dear boys...


From this you can pretty much surmise my feelings about birth control.  I was recently asked how many children Breadwinner and I plan on having.  When we married my answer would have been four sounds about right.  With that number at least one should end up liking me enough to take care of me in my old age and we would fit comfortably into society's expectations.   I also wanted to wait a few years after marriage before adding to our family, but I wanted to be done by the time I was 30.  That way I could teach school for a couple years, take some time off to have my kids, and get one with my life by the time I was 40.  As I write this I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry at my self-centered thought process!


Our first baby fit the plan to perfection.  I went off birth control pills one month and got pregnant the next.  She was born a month after I resigned my teaching position when school let out for the year.  I was 26.  Sixteen months later her sister was born.  Our next baby took a little longer to arrive and ironically I was upset as we tried for over a year to get pregnant.  I was closing in on 30 when he was born, but since it had taken so long with him I decided it was okay to have another baby even as I had passed my self-imposed age limit.  Number 4 arrived a year and a half later.  Now we had 2 boys and 2 girls.  All had worked out according to plan.  Now was the appointed time for Breadwinner to take permanent measures to end our 6 year baby making run.  


When I was in kindergarten I failed my hearing test possibly the result of chronic ear infections.  I still miss out on things I need to know, once-in-awhile, if I am not paying attention.  The Lord used a unique dial to turn up the volume of His plan for our family with what happened next...


-to be continued...