Happy 43rd Anniversary!

 October 28, 1967 my parents were married in my grandparents living room with my great-grandfather performing the ceremony.  

Easy to believe Dad married Mom for her good looks,

And Mom married Dad for his sense of humor...

And the two became one and multiplied-

GREATLY on the face of the earth...

 

 Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

William Shakespeare

Strength In Weakness

I had the privilege of accompanying my parents to a procedure to drain fluid from dad’s pleural cavity.  My sister, Mollie, graciously watched all 10 of our collective kids. Mom, in an act of selflessness to which she is not a stranger, stepped aside to allow me the opportunity to serve and love my dad.  What a blessing to be able to hold Dad’s hand and minister to his other physical needs as waves of nausea assaulted him causing him to aspirate substances that should remain foreign to his airways.  My position for the last 10 years as a mom helped to prepare me for this.  What a comfort to know our heavenly father is even now preparing us for his future use.  When the procedure was complete the doctor had drained 1 1/2 liters of fluid from the space under Dad’s lung.   

Mom and Dad’s pastor came to pray with them.  It was exciting to hear Dad tell him that his experience with cancer has been a spiritual education.  For the first time in his life he can tangibly feel people praying for him.  Having just experienced this for the first time when Merritt swallowed the penny, I couldn’t help smiling.  When I am weak He is strong.  If we will listen he continues to reveal himself even when we are ever nearer to seeing him face to face.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee:  for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore i take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake:  for when I am weak , then am I strong.

II Corinthians 12: 9-10

Chaplain Capt. Andrew and Mollie ministering to Dad.  

Walking By Faith

“It’s what I expected.” Dad quietly informed us-not with defeat, but peaceful acceptance.

Yesterday was the doctor appointment to review the results of my dad’s latest PET scan. I think we all knew what the oncologist would say, but held out hope that he wouldn’t have to. The appointment was for 2:15. The six of us were still sitting in the room at 3:15. Seemed a cruel wait to hear news that was hoped against. As Dr. Nadi scrolled down the PET scan on his computer cancerous dots of light lit up the screen like fireflies popping against a pasture backdrop in July. It was if we watched the stars winking on to commence a clear night. We all would have preferred a thunderstorm quiet the fireflies and block the stars from view. Non-small cell squamous cell carcinoma is running its course.

There will be no more ineffective chemotherapy. The time has come to focus on managing Dad’s significant pain and making his time left with us on this terrestrial plane comfortable. Now he has to recline in order to gain respite from the hurt even as he is taking measures for this with medication. He has fluid in his pleural cavity that when it is presently removed we pray will ease his suffering. The cancer has also externally raised its ugly head literally tipping its hand on Dad’s crown.

My dad’s journey isn’t over yet. I’m positive the Lord is still at work through him or he would have called him home already. We explained to the kids this morning that the doctor thought Papa Tim had 4-6 months left of life. We discussed that although God can still heal Papa he may chose not to. Most of all we are holding out hope that the Lord will return for his saints and take us all to heaven together that none of us may taste death. For we know that

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1

Today this Scott Krippayne song is looping in my head .

All who sail the sea of faith

Find out before too long

How quickly blue skies can grow dark

And gentle winds grow strong

Suddenly fear is like white water

Pounding on the soul

Still we sail on knowing

That our Lord is in control

He has a reason for each trial

That we pass through in life

And though we're shaken

We cannot be pulled apart from Christ

No matter how the driving rain beats down

On those who hold to faith

A heart of trust will always

Be a quiet peaceful place

Sometimes He calms the storm

With a whispered peace be still

He can settle any sea

But it doesn't mean He will

Sometimes He holds us close

And lets the wind and waves go wild

Sometimes He calms the storm

And other times He calms His child

Call Of The Wild...

So interesting to watch the personalities of little people develop. Early this morning before the rooster, we will most likely receive next week in the mail, would crow we heard the calling of a sustained note. In the song, “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better,” from Annie Get Your Gun, there is a measures long note claiming any note you can hold I can hold longer. This came immediately to mind in comparison as we tried to ascertain the 5 second long siren’s level of immediacy and need.

After a beat our 4 year old proclaims into the darkness of their shared bedroom, “Pay attention to me, Max!”

“I am.” the 6 year old replies in an even yet kind voice.

For those who know him this story is not surprising. If I had known his true personality when as a fussy baby nightly refused comfort I might not have had more children. As it was, we decided we had probably hit rock bottom with this gift from God and the challenge of raising an infant couldn't get any worse. A few times in his babyhood he had me convinced with his weeping and wailing he was severely ill and I rushed him to the doctor. Now we know he is a bit of a dramatic and armed with an otoscope I can make a better judgement about his true health care needs.

The same characteristics that make him a challenge to parent also make him enduring. He is a favorite of many. He is outgoing and entertaining. He seems to have a special place in the hearts of “women of age”. I must put much effort into exuding positive vibes to him as he can turn moody and cross around negativity.

So, in many ways it turns out he is easier to parent than we thought. An emotional outburst of uncontrollable sobbing which induces hyperventilation is much easier to read than my child who solemnly gazes at me expressionless. We never have to guess what he is thinking.

"Your sweet little Mitchell", so he tells me...

If I Only Had A Brain...

This is why I give advice. So someone can remind me how to do what I do when I forget.

Today my sister and I were discussing math for our K-1st graders. I told her since I had 2 kids in the same class I had one do one side of the worksheet and the other do the back. If you are familiar with Saxon math for the young grades you know the worksheet is made to do one side in a morning session and the back in the afternoon as a review/reinforcement. This, for me, is busy work if I follow the suggested course plan or guilt inducing when I don’t.

Not being a masochist, we only complete one side per child for mastery. Although in full disclosure, we once spent a full week on the number 6. Shifty little fellow, number 6. Hard to get a good hold. I had to call in some outside worksheet help in this instance. So, when my sister questioned my methods I listened to her with much attention. She described how she took the workbook apart and filled a 3 ring binder with the already hole punched sheets. For use she simply slit one side of a clear page cover sleeve and slipped it over the worksheet page and had her student use a dry erase marker to complete his work. When he was done he wiped it clean and it is ready for the next use. Kids love to use dry erase markers and you don’t have to keep buying replacement workbooks. This is especially important if your book goes into a new edition and available workbooks no longer match textbooks.

Funny thing is she prefaced her explanation with, “Why don’t you do it the way you told me to?!” Good question. Probably my subconscious had me tell you so you would remind me when I again needed the information. This is also another outstanding reason to have many children. I do the same thing with them. It’s like backing up your computer. If everyone remembers a few things we’ll be good.

My brain-back-up and I with Mom

Finished..For Now...

I haven't posted pictures of my primary August projects as of yet due to the fact that whenever I remember to take my camera upstairs either the room is unkempt or someone is sleeping therein. We have three bedrooms in our home. We have 8 permanent lodgers under our roof. Finding a time when both of the aforementioned variables coincide was not the most challenging logistical requirement of this post, however.

When we were renovating our home the month before we moved in almost 9 years ago I was 9 months pregnant. With the help of faithful friends and family we ripped up carpets, stripped wallpaper, painted, and scrubbed walls. We didn't have the funds to cover all the pine wood floors upstairs with carpet, so we simply did the stair steps and hall. I wanted to strip and stain the bedroom floors, but Matt wisely drew the line. Instead we painted the floors. I knew one day in the future I would regret this choice as it is much easier to slap the paint on then to remove it. But as my due date grew nearer I became uncustomarily laissez faire in my attitude toward my punch list.

At this point in my life I live in a reproductive sun room. My life is all about windows of opportunity. Its never a great idea to inhale vast quantities of toxins and foreign bodies, and yet as an adult that has reached my majority at times I make this choice. When I am being crafty and making people I tend to shy away from activities that could cause permanent ill affects to the tender little personage of my internal boarder. This August all the windows were open both figuratively and literally. The kids ended up sleeping in the camper parked in the driveway so long that when they again had to sleep in 2 separate rooms they were a bit reticent. Multi-tasking at its finest hour. Task done and sibling bonds forged all at the same time.

The results were worth the work especially knowing all the floors in the house are now redone. There is no refinishing left to do. Unless of course you count all the original woodwork...

Befores and Afters

In Honor of World Egg Day 2010...

Breadwinner ordered 50 laying hens from McMurray Hatchery this morning in honor of the occasion. Sounded like a great idea from the comfort of my chair as I sipped my starter cup of coffee at the dawning of the day. Now, as I gulp my reviver mug, I'm having second thoughts. I know how I feel about the responsibility of care taking for 50 more live beings. I'm hoping Madigan turns into a chicken lady akin to her Aunt Mollie. We'll let you know how this one unfoulds- I mean unfolds...

It's What's Inside That Counts

The outside of our house looks bad. I can see my mom wince from the kitchen window every time she pulls in the drive. At last count there were five different sidings and house wraps advertising three different home improvement centers covering the exterior. We re shingled a few years ago, but since the house is pretty tall you really miss out on the best part.

We moved here almost 9 years ago. I remember precisely as it was 4 days after our second child was born. Three months later we welcomed two three month old Great Danes into our family. In the dead of winter. Great Danes don't have much hair. Baby Great Danes get cold easily. They spent the winter in our basement. The only advantage to this was that when they finally went outside they would only relieve themselves on hard surfaces. I never had to worry about setting my babies down on a "land mine" in the grass. They commandeered an abandoned outbuilding for their purposes. They apparently used the gravel road that runs by our house too, if the casual remarks from our neighbors about almost driving off the road to go around the gigantic piles left by our "horses" was any indication. In winter they hardened to boulders with the propensity to wreke great havoc to the undercarriage of passing cars. But I digress...

It used to bother me that it appeared that we lived in an abode no one cared for. I have long since stopped looking at the exterior when I come in the drive. The continuous addition of garden space is my coping mechanism. I am simply trying to divert attention long enough to get visitors in the front door. Much energy, time, and resource has been spent creating comfortable interior living space. I continue reminding myself it is a work in progress. We keep adding to the pre-siding punch list. The exterior is a theft deterrent, nobody would case this joint. We are only a decade into this... Most of all, our hope is the most important things are happening on the inside.

The neighbor stopped by yesterday. He wanted Breadwinner to give him an estimate for his roof. I'm pretty sure we will get the work because it gives our neighbor reason to stop and talk for the duration of the job. It's harder in the country to unobtrusively stop by to chew the fat. You can't just lean over the back fence or pause on the sidewalk as you casually walk by. While driving in the country you may think folks are rubber necking, but they are simply scoping for the opportunity for a neighborly chat.

Around our section are quite a few farms that were originally owned by the same family. Quite a few of the relations are still around. I learned yesterday this neighbor's father was born on our place in 1899 in a tiny house that sat where our grain bin does now. Our house was built not long after. I believe he said the family had 8 children. He also mentioned that 3 of them died. One from appendicitis, one from pneumonia, and he wasn't sure about the third. He said the four boys all shared one room above the kitchen, which is the master bedroom today. Two of the brothers never married and lived out their days here raising pure-bred cattle.

When we had our fifth baby here at home our midwife asked if we knew if any other babies had been born in this house. This intrigued me. Home birth used to be the norm. Our current culture tends to sterilize life. We remove major landmarks of life from the home. Often we are born and die somewhere other than where we really lived. Yesterday I learned our house has welcomed 6 babies into the world. This tidbit of information put a smile on my face and a bit more warmth in my heart for this old place. My family is beginning to stir this morning. My cue that the important things are about to begin happening...

The Way to Happiness

We tend to seek happiness when happiness is actually a choice!

This is something I have to remind myself often. As a mother I give much mouth service to this philosophy. I even painted Choose Happiness above the toilet in the kids bathroom to encourage my then 4 year old that, "We don't need to cry about everything!" I figured since we were in there so much it would get much eye service which would eventually sink into his brain. He doesn't cry as much anymore, but I think it has more to do with him getting older than the grinning cat and butterflies on the wall. Could have something to do with the fact that he still can't read...

John 3:30 says, "He must increase, but I must decrease."

I'm toying with what wall in my house this verse should grace. If I can remind myself to put the Lord first and get my selfish keister out of His way we will all be happy. Happiness is a choice. No one else can make it for you...