Walking By Faith

“It’s what I expected.” Dad quietly informed us-not with defeat, but peaceful acceptance.

Yesterday was the doctor appointment to review the results of my dad’s latest PET scan. I think we all knew what the oncologist would say, but held out hope that he wouldn’t have to. The appointment was for 2:15. The six of us were still sitting in the room at 3:15. Seemed a cruel wait to hear news that was hoped against. As Dr. Nadi scrolled down the PET scan on his computer cancerous dots of light lit up the screen like fireflies popping against a pasture backdrop in July. It was if we watched the stars winking on to commence a clear night. We all would have preferred a thunderstorm quiet the fireflies and block the stars from view. Non-small cell squamous cell carcinoma is running its course.

There will be no more ineffective chemotherapy. The time has come to focus on managing Dad’s significant pain and making his time left with us on this terrestrial plane comfortable. Now he has to recline in order to gain respite from the hurt even as he is taking measures for this with medication. He has fluid in his pleural cavity that when it is presently removed we pray will ease his suffering. The cancer has also externally raised its ugly head literally tipping its hand on Dad’s crown.

My dad’s journey isn’t over yet. I’m positive the Lord is still at work through him or he would have called him home already. We explained to the kids this morning that the doctor thought Papa Tim had 4-6 months left of life. We discussed that although God can still heal Papa he may chose not to. Most of all we are holding out hope that the Lord will return for his saints and take us all to heaven together that none of us may taste death. For we know that

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1

Today this Scott Krippayne song is looping in my head .

All who sail the sea of faith

Find out before too long

How quickly blue skies can grow dark

And gentle winds grow strong

Suddenly fear is like white water

Pounding on the soul

Still we sail on knowing

That our Lord is in control

He has a reason for each trial

That we pass through in life

And though we're shaken

We cannot be pulled apart from Christ

No matter how the driving rain beats down

On those who hold to faith

A heart of trust will always

Be a quiet peaceful place

Sometimes He calms the storm

With a whispered peace be still

He can settle any sea

But it doesn't mean He will

Sometimes He holds us close

And lets the wind and waves go wild

Sometimes He calms the storm

And other times He calms His child